When man pops that question, others (woman or man-maybe?) Would answer a simple Yes or No or Perhaps... But, my answer a bit more complicated...
A lovely man asked me about a year ago, and I said "not after you have settled all your debts. How much is your debt?". Then just after that question, he disclosed his financial condition (and so do I) and I calculated our financial liabilities then I said "oke, we can get married next year!" Followed by a financial plan to settle all the debts we had for the following year, an arrangement that we will not make any long term financial arrangement, if we will, we have to notify the other, sort of conditions precedent to get married.
Let's we put this way... Indonesian law provides that any asset existed before the marriage, shall be your own personal assets. The entire assets (as well as debts) exist after the marriage will be yours and ur hubby. Unless you stipulate other wise on asset seperation arrangement, which I will not have one. The thing is, if you use credit cards (me and si kaki berbulu use it every day) even you had the transaction before the marriage, any credit cards bills (no matter when the transaction is) issued after the marriage will be you and hubby liability. The same thing applies for long term investment plan.
So, here we are, 4 months before the big day.
We have not found yet a wedding band, mc, set the menu, choose the decoration, dliver a green fabrics for the reception kebaya, invitation, souvenir.... Hmm, I am not really worried on those wedding stuffs. I have more important issue to resolve.... the terms and conditions on our marriage life.
This marriage, will be resulting in consolidation of debts. Si kaki berbulu liabilities will be mine after the marriage, and vice versa. The details that catch my biggest attention is -after the color of my wedding gown of course-, how much is our liabilities after the wedding.....
And it is a shocking truth, to know how much we can spend after the wedding (we still have some pending liabilities) not a painful truth, but yet still shocking. You can call me control freak matrealistic bitch, I call my self realistic. So, let's fall in love and get married, doesn't apply to me. A marriage is not risk free and we try to control the risk.
I have said this before, the reality starts after the fairy tale wedding celebration....
and beware brides, the reality bites ;)
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